We would like to introduce you to our daughter!
On April 19, 2013, she was officially declared ours by the Ethiopian government.
We hope to return to Ethiopia to bring her home sometime in May or June.
She is a joy!
There is so much to tell about our trip and about her. This may become rambling, but I would rather just get it out there!
After 22 hours of travel, we arrived in Ethiopia in the morning on the 16th. After a quick breakfast and showers, we got in a van to head to the House of Hope - the transition home where Hoolet was staying. We had butterflies of anticipation as we pulled up to the gate. (This is a different location than where we met Zain as the downsizing led to a move to a different neighborhood.) We were directed up to a family room with couches, a table, and rug specifically designed for American families to spend time with their new kids. We sat and waited for her to arrive.
They opened the door and Hermella brought her in. She was all done up in a cute outfit and headband. Necklace on her neck. A bit of fear came on her face. She looked sternly at Erik, then looked at me as I slowly approached with a big smile. She was not too keen on leaving Hermella's arms. We took it slow. We quickly realized how uncomfortable she was with the situation. Maybe if she was with her nanny and friends, she would do better. So we ventured up the stairs to her room. She allowed me to take her hand as we conquered the steps together. My heart was melting by the minute. After so many photos and so much anticipation, here we were, holding hands.
The rest of the morning was spent learning about each other, figuring each other out. About an hour and a half in, she fell asleep on me. We had overwhelmed her. It was wonderful to wear a drool stain of honor on my shoulder and just be at peace together for over an hour.
Every adoption is different. We go through training to prepare for likely situations and sometimes the worst of situations are discussed. We've been preparing for years. Attachment does not happen instantly for most. Our experience with Zain was very different in many ways. Hoolet is almost two. She has experienced much more of life than Zain had. She has lived outside of the orphanage for over a year, she has lived in orphanages for almost a year. She has wounds and scars that we don't know yet. We want to parent her with as much sensitivity and grace as we can so that she will have the highest possibility of forming attachment and growing in confidence of us as her parents for life.
She has had a hard time with Erik. All of her caregivers have been women. She has only known a handful of men. It is clear that she is apprehensive about any men being near her. She would always know where Erik was in the room and "keep an eye on him" as we played. She really didn't let him get close to her. Though it appeared she was rejecting him, we know that he just has to go a little slower with her. He continued to approach her and make attempts at connections with her consistently. We want her to know that he will never reject her no matter how she acts toward him.
Our days were filled with stacking cups, making jewelry, blowing bubbles, teaching four-square to the big kids, eating, sleeping, and holding. We were able to take a trip to the area she was born in Asella, about a four-hour drive outside of Addis. We grew more and more attached as the days went by. It was amazing how much we got to know our daughter in a matter of 21 hours of being with her over 3 days. By the end of our time, on the last day, I got kisses on the lips, heard her laugh in my arms as I tickled her, and watched her cry as we left. Erik had a chance to put her on his lap for a book reading which seemed to be uncomfortable to her, but worth it as she got to read. She even leaned in for a kiss and got within inches of his cheek before realizing, "Oh, wait, it's that guy," and pulling away.
On April 19, in the afternoon, we attended court. As we spoke with the judge, we finally heard the words we longed for:
"This decision is final and permanent. She is all yours."
There is much more to say about our sweet, precious girl. She is just right for our family and we cannot wait to go get her. I will post more tidbits later... for now, jet lag is setting in and I fear I may fall asleep on the computer.
p.s. We are still working on naming her..................
Posts
