It is a strange idea to miss someone you have never met. Yet the essential feeling can only be compared to missing her. It is that longing as if something is not here that needs to be so that hearts can feel full.
Don't get me wrong, we can wait. The phrase. "I cannot wait to meet her!" is appropriate but inaccurate. Waiting is part of adoption. It is part of birthing, too! How many pregnant mothers are just waiting for that kid to decide to come out and put an end to six pillows to get comfortable and hourly bathroom trips? How many couples tried to get pregnant month after month, some taking medical measures, just waiting for a positive pee-stick? Waiting is part of having kids no matter what.
And quite frankly, waiting is part of our love for her. It is not easy. But her life has not been easy. And every time I realize I'm having a hard time in my heart with the waiting, I think of her. I think I would do anything for her. I am loving her already even by waiting.
My heart is full. I am so blessed to be in the process to mothering her. I am grateful for the way God has woven the tapestry of our story together. My heart is full. Yet it is the kind of full one might feel during a trip. When Erik is away, my heart is not less full, but I miss him terribly. He misses Zain and I and longs to return. We miss each other.
Today, we miss her. We wait. We love. We pray.
We are coming for you, daughter!
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3 comments:
beautiful!
Perfectly worded. I get every one of those words. I LOVE how you are waiting - lovingly - for her!!
Oh my....thanks for the paragraph about waiting is a way you are loving her. Such a sweet perspective that I needed to hear. :) Can't wait till we get to see her sweet place. Also have you heard Wes King's "We thought you would be here by now?"---Tearjerker.
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